8 minute read

Many people don’t realise this, but human connection is extremely important to our wellbeing.

In fact, as human beings we have only three core needs; 

1. Food and water
2. Shelter, and
3. Connection 

I learned this the hard way as I tried to navigate my way out of depression, recognising that I had some problems when it came to connecting with other people. I was surrounded by people, with up to 60 PT sessions per week but I felt all alone, with no genuine human connection at all.

I would often isolate myself, as I was riddled with trust issues and it just felt safer and less triggering for me if I didn’t let people in. It was easier to be alone, than to risk rejection. This piece of the puzzle took me years to navigate as I had to work out why I had the problem in the first place, and it took me years to build that healthy human connection at all.  

So my primary recommendation around this one is; 

• Set goals with the inclusion of your loved ones. You are not an island and if you want to succeed there needs to be more than just you at the centre of the equation. 

Include your partner, closest friends and children in your goals. Explain to them in advance why it is so important to you, and what you hope the benefit will be to them in the long term as well.

When we change our lifestyles, we trigger those who are close to us. 

And thats ok, because you are influencing them for the better.

Humans have nervous systems that prefer homeostasis, which means we like for things to remain the same. We find change to be confronting and at times, unsafe. We like to stick to the known. 

This is why we often have our boyfriends complaining about our lifestyle change, or our kids’ complaining about how boring the food is. If you make them separate food in order to make it better for them, they may complain that you’re not eating with them. 

It can seem easier in these instances to appease those who are complaining, and to put our goals back in the ‘one day’ pile, but the problem is, as this goal is deeply connected to your highest unrealised potential, it will just keep coming up for you to pursue it. 

If you don’t pursue it, then this can make way for resentment down the line, or we simply move into helplessness and don’t even try anymore. This is a learned behaviour and someone you will need to fight to override. 

Additionally, as women on this beautiful planet, it’s our job to be our best selves, and to light the way for others to do the same. It’s also a universal truth that we are happier when we are healthier, from the inside-out.

How do we create this elusive support network and increase healthy human connection?

1. We identify if we do already have one, by speaking with those closest to us as I have already mentioned. If this works out well, then you have your support network and better yet, they’re on your side! 

If this activity sadly highlights to us that we don’t have a positive support network, or if we feel that we don’t have one already, then we need to; 

2. Seek one out. 

This means you want to find people who have similar goals to you – this may be in a facebook group, through a coach you hire, or a local community. Yes it can be awkward to put yourself out there if you’re used to being an island, but you can start by simply being in a group. You don’t have to even post anything. Just be in there, reading their posts and working on teaching your nervous system that there are people just like you out there, and when you’re ready, you could reach out to them. 

What if you’re better off alone? I only add this as this is what I believed in my journey. I didn’t trust anyone. In this case, you need to build trust within yourself. You can work on the connection part when you feel ready to. 

Wildly Strong Women’s Health Academy Membership

Looking for a group of women to work through this illusive health and wellbeing process with? I have an amazing membership space for women just like you, where I have taken all the guesswork out and built a path to total health and wellbeing, and you don’t have to do it alone.

I would absolutely love to see you in there!

Jen x